We all heard that we need to work on a marriage of relations. But who said that this is necessarily hard work? Small daily efforts, according to psychologists, can give an excellent result.
The routine of everyday life often, like rust, corrodes relations in marriage. To avoid this, it is necessary to comply with the simple rules of “prevention”, American psychologists advise.
Focus on the good
“Even the most beautiful partner sometimes does or says something that irritates us, worries or hurts us,” says Nari Jeter, a family psychotherapist and consultant from the University of Florida (USA).- Do we have to indicate him, try to fix it? Alas, few people perceive criticism adequately, and it can do more harm than benefits. Your task is first of all to support and inspire a partner. Therefore, stop criticizing it and focus on its positive qualities “.
Sorry for your misses
“If you were wrong in something, be courageous and ask for forgiveness. No, do not say phrases such as “I’m sorry that you are upset” or “I’m sorry that you understood it”. This is not an apology at all, and besides, you, in fact, hint that the partner did not have the mind to correctly interpret your words or intentions, ”says Ryan Haes, a practicing clinical psychologist from California. – Another thing is when you take responsibility for your lies or an ugly act, or admit that they are to blame for the misunderstanding between you. This means that a good relationship with a partner is much more important
Lorsque la position appropriée est trouvée, il est important d’attraper un rythme qui vous mènera certainement à l’orgasme. Essayez de déplacer les cuisses dans un cercle, alors vous vous sentirez comme si un pénis concerne tous les murs du levitra generique il sera possible d’expérimenter avec le rythme. Vous pouvez vous déplacer lentement, pas de haut en bas pendant que votre clitoris commence à toucher son pubis. Pour plus de commodité, vous pouvez mettre un oreiller sous les hanches.
to you than to defend your innocence. “.
Do not blame your partner
“During quarrels, partners usually criticize and accuse each other,” says Gal Szekekely, a family psychotherapist, creator of the Center for Psychological Support for Steam in San Francisco (USA). – Give yourself the vow to completely abandon the accusations and reproaches. Instead, talk about your feelings and needs, using “I-messages”.
Turn away from your phones and look at each other
“No, this is not about the game of peepers. Just put aside the smartphone and look at your partner for several seconds, ”advises Anne Crowley, a practicing psychologist from Texas. – In everyday turmoil, we usually do not have enough time for this, and therefore we miss important non -verbal signals that help us understand the other. The meaning of this practice is precisely to better understand the partner, it makes our relationship calmer and deeper ”.
Know how to appreciate your dissimilarity
“I work with one pair now. They came to me, being on the verge of a divorce. It seemed to his wife that during their disputes the husband was held very alienated, they could not immediately come to the agreement as she wanted. And on the contrary, he needed to be alone and think over everything before discussing something. So he paused, and she felt abandoned.
When the husband was finally gathering his thoughts and was ready to talk, his wife was already to anything, she felt lonely so. As a result, they could not come to an agreement in any controversial issue and more and more moved away from each other. In the course of our work, they learned to understand how different their approaches to conflict situations were, and appreciate these differences, and not to condemn and shame each other, ”said Jennifer Gauwin, a clinical social worker, lives and works in Colorado. – They learned to tell each other about what they feel “.
Learn to really listen
“Each person needs attention, although not everyone is recognized in this. One of the easiest ways to show your partner that he is interesting and important to you, it’s just to listen carefully to it, ”Ryan Haws continues – Ryan Haws. – How to show him this? It is necessary to put aside all the gadgets, look him in the eyes and from time to time “return” the said in a slightly paraphrased form. For example, a partner says that all day he only did what he traveled around the city, delivering children to it and here. You can answer this: “All day driving! Imagine how you are exhausted!”. The partner feels that he is heard and understands, and at that moment good contact is established between you “.
Show your partner that you appreciate it
“This is extremely important for a good relationship,” Gal Jackes says. “Be sure to tell your partner that he succeeded in something, or about what you like in him.”.
Remember the golden rule
“It is elementary, but how much I meet the spouses who violate him. Treat each other with respect, ”Jennifer Govein advises again. – Do not go personal. Never use blackmail. Any violence, physical or emotional, is unacceptable. Of course, we are all imperfect. But if you know that you behaved incorrectly, always – always – admit it and apologize to the partner “.
We all heard that we need to work on a marriage of relations. But who said that this is necessarily hard work? Small daily efforts, according to psychologists, can give an excellent result.
The routine of everyday life often, like rust, corrodes relations in marriage. To avoid this, it is necessary to comply with the simple rules of “prevention”, American psychologists advise.
Focus on the good
“Even the most beautiful partner sometimes does or says something that irritates us, worries or hurts us,” says Nari Jeter, a family psychotherapist and consultant from the University of Florida (USA).- Do we have to indicate him, try to fix it? Alas, few people perceive criticism adequately, and it can do more harm than benefits. Your task is first of all to support and inspire a partner. Therefore, stop criticizing it and focus on its positive qualities “.
Sorry for your misses
“If you were wrong in something, be courageous and ask for forgiveness. No, do not say phrases such as “I’m sorry that you are upset” or “I’m sorry that you understood it”. This is not an apology at all, and besides, you, in fact, hint that the partner did not have the mind to correctly interpret your words or intentions, ”says Ryan Haes, a practicing clinical psychologist from California. – Another thing is when you take responsibility for your lies or an ugly act, or admit that they are to blame for the misunderstanding between you. This means that a good relationship with a partner is much more important
Lorsque la position appropriée est trouvée, il est important d’attraper un rythme qui vous mènera certainement à l’orgasme. Essayez de déplacer les cuisses dans un cercle, alors vous vous sentirez comme si un pénis concerne tous les murs du levitra generique il sera possible d’expérimenter avec le rythme. Vous pouvez vous déplacer lentement, pas de haut en bas pendant que votre clitoris commence à toucher son pubis. Pour plus de commodité, vous pouvez mettre un oreiller sous les hanches.
to you than to defend your innocence. “.
Do not blame your partner
“During quarrels, partners usually criticize and accuse each other,” says Gal Szekekely, a family psychotherapist, creator of the Center for Psychological Support for Steam in San Francisco (USA). – Give yourself the vow to completely abandon the accusations and reproaches. Instead, talk about your feelings and needs, using “I-messages”.
Turn away from your phones and look at each other
“No, this is not about the game of peepers. Just put aside the smartphone and look at your partner for several seconds, ”advises Anne Crowley, a practicing psychologist from Texas. – In everyday turmoil, we usually do not have enough time for this, and therefore we miss important non -verbal signals that help us understand the other. The meaning of this practice is precisely to better understand the partner, it makes our relationship calmer and deeper ”.
Know how to appreciate your dissimilarity
“I work with one pair now. They came to me, being on the verge of a divorce. It seemed to his wife that during their disputes the husband was held very alienated, they could not immediately come to the agreement as she wanted. And on the contrary, he needed to be alone and think over everything before discussing something. So he paused, and she felt abandoned.
When the husband was finally gathering his thoughts and was ready to talk, his wife was already to anything, she felt lonely so. As a result, they could not come to an agreement in any controversial issue and more and more moved away from each other. In the course of our work, they learned to understand how different their approaches to conflict situations were, and appreciate these differences, and not to condemn and shame each other, ”said Jennifer Gauwin, a clinical social worker, lives and works in Colorado. – They learned to tell each other about what they feel “.
Learn to really listen
“Each person needs attention, although not everyone is recognized in this. One of the easiest ways to show your partner that he is interesting and important to you, it’s just to listen carefully to it, ”Ryan Haws continues – Ryan Haws. – How to show him this? It is necessary to put aside all the gadgets, look him in the eyes and from time to time “return” the said in a slightly paraphrased form. For example, a partner says that all day he only did what he traveled around the city, delivering children to it and here. You can answer this: “All day driving! Imagine how you are exhausted!”. The partner feels that he is heard and understands, and at that moment good contact is established between you “.
Show your partner that you appreciate it
“This is extremely important for a good relationship,” Gal Jackes says. “Be sure to tell your partner that he succeeded in something, or about what you like in him.”.
Remember the golden rule
“It is elementary, but how much I meet the spouses who violate him. Treat each other with respect, ”Jennifer Govein advises again. – Do not go personal. Never use blackmail. Any violence, physical or emotional, is unacceptable. Of course, we are all imperfect. But if you know that you behaved incorrectly, always – always – admit it and apologize to the partner “.
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